So this one time, I'll be like Bradley Hathaway...

He's so swanky
With his s.w.a.n.k.y. cars and his swanky Gucci cuff links...
He hangs out in all the s w a n k y restaurants with the swanky politicians and t.v. personalities.
He goes to a swanky law school and comes from a swanky family.
He is so SwAnKy.
At night, he parades through the streets of Paris, sipping on Bellavista Franciacorta champagne and dreaming of his artsy girlfriend.
When people ask him who he is, he says:
I am a Harvard student.
An ambassador's son.
I have fine things.
But most importantly,
I am SWANKY.

She's so artsy
In her artsy clothes (from an a r t s y thrift store).
In her back pocket, she carries an artsy book
where she writes artsy poems and draws artsy pictures for her swanky boyfriend.
She is so a.r.t.s.y.
The art seems to flow from her mouth when she speaks.
She talks of artsy people, such as Georg Baselitz and Robert Hass.
She goes to all the artsyyy coffee shops in Manhattan to listen to all the indie bands and drink all the artsy drinks
none of them
M
O
C
H
A
frappuccinos.
When people ask her who she is, she says:
I am a vegan.
A poet.
Photographer.
Music lover.
But most importantly,
I am ARTSY.

They are lovely.
He is European. She is American.
He speaks four languages. She speaks Brooklynese.
He has blonde hair and blue eyes. She, brown hair with green eyes.
He likes the operas. She likes indie rock concerts.
He's clean cut. She's trashy.
When people ask them who they are, they say:
We are driven.
We are different.
We are distant.
But most importantly,
we are LOVE.